Quests (Realms of Darkness)
- 1 Point Total
- 2 Roleplaying Tokens
- 3 Population
- 4 Discovered Worlds
- 5 Act I
- 5.1 Chapter 1: Sabertooth tigers! (2 points)
- 5.2 Chapter 2: Blowjob Buddha (1 point)
- 5.3 Chapter 3: The Vampire Bear (2 points)
- 5.4 Chapter 4: The Wailing Widow (2 points)
- 5.5 Chapter 5: That's a HUGE Dragon (2 point)
- 5.6 Chapter 6: The Serial Killer (2 points)
- 5.7 Chapter 7: The Monster Mash (20 points)
- 5.8 Chapter 8: The Mines (2 points)
- 5.9 Chapter 9: Walk-about (2 points)
- 5.10 Chapter 10: Morgan Le Fay (10 point)
- 5.11 Chapter 11: Enter the Mind Flayers (4 points)
- 5.12 Chapter 12: Planet of the Ewoks (5 points)
- 5.13 Chapter 13: The Search for Turd's Wife (2 points)
- 5.14 Chapter 14: Jurassic World, Part 1 (2 points)
- 5.15 Chapter 15: Jurassic World, Part 2 (2 points)
- 5.16 Chapter 16: Jurassic World, Part 3 (0 points)
- 5.17 Chapter 17: Jurassic World, Part 4 (5 points)
- 5.18 Chapter 18: Jurassic World, Part 5 (2 points)
- 5.19 Chapter 19: Magic Land, Part I
- 5.20 Chapter 20: Magic Land, Part II
- 5.21 Chapter 21: Home Sweet Home, Part I
- 5.22 Chapter 22: Home Sweet Home, Part II
- 150 + 2 + 1 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 20 + 2 + 2 + 10 + 4 + 5 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 0 + 5 + 2 + 3 + 10
- Avianpilot - 0
- Bogy - 0
- Jarvis - 1
- Mikee - 0
- Turd - 0
- UNAWARDED: 9
Reminder: These can be spent to force a single reroll. Only 10 total tokens are available, if they stay horded and 10 are out there then no more will be awarded until such time as they are spent.
49768 - 157
- 8 serial killer
- 32 sick due to march to forest
- 8 saber tooth kittens
- Bloody Ice World - World cured of the blood plague, abandoned.
- Demon Lava Land - No exploration done.
- Katana Legion world's asteroid belt. Not explored, found Mind Flayers.
- Earth in the Roman Era - Fucked up history, led Mind Flayers here
- Jersey Shore - Not explored
- A Shattered World - during the catapult incident.
Chapter 1: Sabertooth tigers! (2 points)
- Group explores looking for a safe spot to camp.
- Attacked by Saber Tooth tiger that was large, stealthy, and very fast.
- Found gazelle like creatures and failed to hunt them.
- Found an ancient set of ruins that were barely noticeable.
- Brought encampment to the ruins to camp for the night because what could possibly go wrong sleeping in ancient ruins surrounded by saber tooth tigers?
Chapter 2: Blowjob Buddha (1 point)
Chapter 3: The Vampire Bear (2 points)
Chapter 4: The Wailing Widow (2 points)
Chapter 5: That's a HUGE Dragon (2 point)
- Herman the Hermit gets infects with blood while destroying a blowjob Buddha statue.
- A voice in his head sends him into the mountains.
- In the mountains a MASSIVE dragon is found.
- The dragon is also infected and claims that Herman is talking to him even though he isn't.
- Dragon explains how two new gods appeared and formed a cult that began killing people and draining their blood into the planet.
- Dragon explains that the blowjob Buddha statues are caps on the veins through the planet. Group realizes that destroying them is bad.
- Dragon is shocked to learn that the statues talk.
- Dragon sends the group away.
- Group returns and reports their findings.
- A serial killer is on the loose in Vampire Bear Keep.
Chapter 6: The Serial Killer (2 points)
- Wait for serial killer to strike at night, one group member on patrol.
- Two men approach well acting as though they don't realize people are in their way and instead walk around like the group is just an obstacle.
- Combat begins and attempts to prevent any suicides in the well are only half successful.
- After coming close to a death roll, Turd lets the one he grappled jump into the well in order to preserve his own life.
- The other is subdued and tied up.
- At sunup the subdued man awakens with no memory of the night.
- At noon a man in tattered robes and a fancy looking staff arrives asking to speak to whoever stopped the suicides.
- He offers a deal in exchange for leaving this world and its resources to the refugees:
- Sacrifice 20,000 people to the wells to provide enough blood to accomplish its goals.
- Alternatively kill the dragon and drain its blood into the world.
- EIther way the "Emissary" indicates that the two new gods will have accomplished what they set out to do and leave, taking the blood infecting the world with them.
- Using mind magic the Emissary reads the mind of a guard and learns about the walk in detail (failed to do the group) and how many refugees exist and where.
- The group does not care for this plan but promises to deliver the offer to their leaders.
- THe leaders decide that its best if the group come up with a plan to kill the dragon. They offer to provide some troops to the group for the combat against the enormous dragon.
- The group hates the plan but agrees.
- The meissary indicates that he knows of the plan to move all refugees into the forest to gather as many supplies and possible and attemp to escape should the assault on the dragon fail.
- THree months are granted to kill the dragon. One month is spent escorting the sick to the new forest encampnent.
- At the encampment, Avianpilot's sister tells him that she has something to show him and won't explain only that it will be easier if he just sees it.
- SHe leads the group to a cave and makes them promise not to attack whatever is in and warns that whatever is in there will run up to her and that the group might think that it is attacking but assures them that its not.
- Inside the cave 16 eyes appear and charge.
- The group tries to believe her and does not draw weapons as the eyes jump forth, tackling her, revealing them to be saber tooth kittens (the size of a large dog each).
- SHe asks the group for permission to bring them along because they will die without their now dead mother.
- Jarvis retusn and seeks out the animal trainer who has experience with horses, dogs, and other barnyard animals about possibly training the pups. He agrees if permission for them can be secured by an elder.
- The shady woman is approached and she quickly agrees with no arguement at all. She even goes out of her way to offer to have a cage built for them and fresh meat upon their arrival in the encampment. She also promises a military escort into the camp to ensure the safety of everybody from the saber tooths and the saber tooths from the people.
- Avianpilot's tent is relocated to be right next to the cage so that his sister can be with them since they seem to trust her.
- SHe is now effectively apprenticing with the animal trainer.
Chapter 7: The Monster Mash (20 points)
Chapter 8: The Mines (2 points)
- Cleared mines.
- Found strange writing that was not deciphered.
Chapter 9: Walk-about (2 points)
- Sent to explore 3 nearest worlds.
- World 1: Temperate Rainforest (think Seattle)
- Pine forest, lots of smaller wildlife.
- Human tracks.
- Smoke from center of island.
- No signs of other land masses.
- Statue of fire giant shitting on three people with one biting the nipple of somebody.
- At center there is a hut with a man and woman arguing.
- Upon approach it becomes clear that the woman is a spoiled rotten princess and the man is being driven insane by her.
- Yes this was an alternative ending to the Vikings Campaign.
- Group debates killing the princess because once again they hate the hell out of her.
- Determine that this is not a suitable world to permanently settle, but offer to take the guy and his two children along.
- He declines after learning the risks of his 3 and 4 year old children dying during a walk.
- WOrld 2: Fire World A
- Lava everywhere, fortress with demons on it.
- Group leaves immediately.
- Defying orders the group walks as far as they can.
- World 3: Atilla the Hun
- Arrive on a river on what is later learned to be the border between the Huns and Rome.
- Approach the romans only to learn that they fear magic and attempt to attack.
- Group leaves without fighting and seeks out the Huns.
- Shadowed bya Hun who Avianpilot sneaks up on and scares shitless.
- Surrounded by Huns and escorted to Atilla who they discover to be a bit of a murderous psychotic.
- Atilla expresses interest in magic and speaks with Baron von Poopenmouth alone.
- Expresses the need to have his sword enchanting to seem to be the sword of the gods, which he has led his followers to believe that it is.
- A deal is reached in which the Huns will outfit up to 20,000 refugees with Roman grade military equipment and "all the lands that you need" in exchange for assisting the Huns in conquering Rome and acknowledging Atilla as their king. Baron von Poopenmouth agrees to these terms unilaterally.
- Group returns to Lava world and finds that it is very slightly different.
- Finally returns home and relays the offer.
- Leaders agree but prefer to send all non-combatants to the Viking world instead of risk having them become hostages.
Chapter 10: Morgan Le Fay (10 point)
- Arthur sends group on mission to put and end to Mordred's claims to Camelot.
- Group is given "meh" rating from druids.
- Promised all of Wales in exchange for helping Arthur unite Brittain.
- Group kills Mordred.
- Group kills Morgan le Fay.
Chapter 11: Enter the Mind Flayers (4 points)
Chapter 12: Planet of the Ewoks (5 points)
Chapter 13: The Search for Turd's Wife (2 points)
REDACTED Turd gains "Ronda Rousy" as a wife.
Chapter 14: Jurassic World, Part 1 (2 points)
Chapter 15: Jurassic World, Part 2 (2 points)
AKA Game of Raptor Thrones.
Chapter 16: Jurassic World, Part 3 (0 points)
Chapter 17: Jurassic World, Part 4 (5 points)
Chapter 18: Jurassic World, Part 5 (2 points)
- Took Iron throne for Carl Drogo. No remaining members of major houses left beyond Jaime Lannister and Khaleesi
- Sent off to lands to claim them as their own.
Chapter 19: Magic Land, Part I
Chapter 20: Magic Land, Part II
Chapter 21: Home Sweet Home, Part I
Chapter 22: Home Sweet Home, Part II